Coping

This is going to be very sappy I guess, but I just have to get off my chest how much I am missing my husband. For those of you that don't know, Rob is on a missions trip with some of his young adults handing out Bibles in Greece. He is in the middle of a 14 day trip. For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know that this will be the longest we have not had contact with each other in 17 years!!

It's hard to go for 14 days without speaking to the person who is your best friend and really helps you do life. I realize that many marriages are not like that, but ours really is. Even after all this time, I look to him for feedback on so many things. I can always count on him to be honest with me and tell me when I need to make changes. He's also the first one to tell me when I've done a great job at something. His opinion means the world to me.

Also, I have to say that I have a new appreciation of the hard work that is involved in single parenting. Kudos to any of you are doing that or have done that in the past. I realize that many single parents don't have 4 kids and included in that a child with special needs and a child that is not yet 3 years old, but regardless of the circumstances, being the sole parent in ANY situation I think is daunting. It's hard being the one that makes all of the decisions, deals with all of the conflicts, and has to be everything to all people. I didn't realize how much I rely on Rob to come home at night and just be a sounding board about various situations that have come up with the children.

So, I had to come up with some coping mechanisms to get through these two weeks. It's likely wimpy but here's what I did. I developed some new 'while Dad is in Greece' rules.
1) Anyone who argues with the Mom goes to their room for 2 hours.
2)The children are being given 2 warnings to stop any fighting between them. If they cannot come up with a compromise / resolution in 2 warnings, they each go to their respective rooms for 2 hours.
These rules are absolute and unwavering. They do not change because of someone's opinion, feelings, etc. Life has been going well since the implementation of the new rules.

I also have been writing e-mails to Rob. He won't get them until he comes home and quite frankly, they aren't for him...they're for me. They're my way to get my thoughts and feelings out so that I can process my day and move on. They are serving their purpose. I write to Rob and I feel so much better. I can often hear what he would say back to me. I'm sure when he gets home, he'll make fun of me for sending him all of these messages, but as I said, they aren't for him...they're helping me get through this time alone.

So, I'm a little lonely, I'm tired and a little cranky at times, but this is time of real growth for me. I am spending this time with my kids and enjoying being in their lives all day every day for 2 whole weeks. I don't have a lot of time left to do that. I'm spending concentrated time praying for my husband and our young adults on this trip and trusting that God is using them to tell people about Jesus. And I'm waiting. Waiting 7 more days to see this face again......OPA!!

Hop...Hop...Hop...

We're getting a bunny. Today. I know...I have a lot on my plate and what am I thinking. He's coming from a breeder here in Alberta and he likes to be be petted and held as do both of his parents. He is a pure bred Netherland Dwarf rabbit. That means that he will be no bigger than 2 lbs when he is full grown. I thought that would be good as he will always look like a baby bunny. I am intending to bring him to visit Seth's class in the Fall. He is 8 weeks old and the kids are over the moon excited. Now the compromise begins on what to name this cute little creature. I'll post some new pictures over the weekend of the kids with the bunny.


This picture was taken from the web site of the bunny breeder....Happy Days Rabbitry in Grande Prairie Alberta Canada. Her web site is www.happydaysrabbitry.webs.com

I had to get pretzels.

Well I think that all of you out there know that our second child, Seth, has Autism. It is something I have blogged quite a bit about. Last night, our darling little guy, decided that he would "get his mom some pretzels", and disappeared for 30 minutes.

I'm not sure if any of you have ever had a lost child, but the day and age in which we live is a very scary time for someone to have a lost child. Every day we are swamped with stories of missing and abused children and a lot was on my mind last night for those 30 minutes I can tell you. You are conditioned to believe that your child will be snapped up by a pedophile and abused and then murdered. And that happens to families every day. Terrible.

As I frantically searched parks and nearby rec centres for my son, these thoughts were on my mind. I know that they were on Rob's mind as well.

He was gone for about 30 minutes and was brought home by two very nice RCMP [Royal Canadian Mounted Police] officers. When I asked Seth where he had gotten the bag of pretzels that was in his hand, the officer told me that Seth had reported to the officer he had gone to the store to get them for me. Many people who have commented on my Facebook post on this have said that they thought it was very sweet that he was getting me pretzels. I guess it was really. However, he had gone to the store with no money with which to buy the pretzels. The officers thought it was humorous that he had shoplifted the pretzels and told me that they had recieved no calls about a child stealing pretzels from a store, so, Seth could keep them.

However, someone here did not think it was funny. Our son Jonah. He very quickly told me that the officers would not have laughed if HE had stolen the pretzels [true] and we would have taken him back to the store to return them and apologize [also true], and why weren't we doing anything to discipline Seth for these actions.

It is interesting when you are the parents of a special needs child. You make allowances for them that you would never make for your other children. Others do as well. Obviously.

We listened to our distressed 11 year old and Jonah and Rob went off to the store to return the pretzels and to apologize to the store manager for Seth having stolen them. The manager told Rob that no one had seen him enter the store alone, take the pretzels or leave the store alone either. That is scary to me. An unattended child entered the store, took something off a shelf and exited the store without paying for the item and no one noticed.

After this conversation with the manager, Jonah turned to his father and said, "Dad I had no idea it was SO easy to shoplift!" Wrong lesson learned I think. :0)

Happy Mother's Day

Well, Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there. I realize that for some people Mother's Day is a very hard day. They have either lost their mother or they have lost a child or children and so this is a day that is very bittersweet or out right painful. Mother's Day around here is usually full with all of the usual Sunday activities and then some activity that we do as a family. It's still early, but I have been given my gifts from my kids and I have had breakfast made for me by my wonderful 7 year old daughter. I can't wait to see what the rest of the day has instore. I thought I would share with you the gifts that the kids made this year. I love hand made gifts. They are hands down my favourites and this year everyone made me something, including Seth, which is very special indeed!!

Spencer made a hand painted jar that is currently being used a vase [her babysitter put some tulips from her garden into each one after the kids painted them]. But, I'm thinking that I will ultimately take it to work to use as a pen holder.

Lauren brought home several items, including this hand painted jar with Marigold seeds in it. She also created coupons I can redeem to get her to do different jobs around the house along with a hand made card.

Seth's class is in the middle of a unit on frogs. So, for Mother's Day, he made a very interesting frog along with a hand made card and gift bag.

Jonah even surrendered and wrote me a letter. He gave it to me very reluctantly, but he gave it to me. Having an eleven year old requires having a thick skin from time to time.

Well, all in all, a terrific Mother's Day for me. I wish all of you a safe and happy Mother's Day today. Whether your family is near or far, we can all sit and spend some time remembering what our mothers mean to us and all that they have given to us.

Working From Home

I feel so blessed. I am so enjoying my job at RDC [Red Deer College] teaching in the nursing department. It is really a challenge to impart what I've learned over my almost 15 years [yikes] of being a nurse. [Am I really that old?]

I also love having new research more readily accessible and being able to learn why we do what we do in our practice. After you graduate from your university years, you follow the policies set out by your institution, but who has time to scan the literature yourself? With 4 kids and our busy schedule, I sure didn't. But now that's part of my job and I LOVE it!! I feel like I am really using all that I learned all those years ago at Ryerson U and that I am actually finally working at my full potential. I still have SO much to learn in order to ensure that I'm as effective a teacher as I need to be, but I really feel that the College supports that and has an environment that fosters that learning to take place. For the first time in my career, I feel that I'm not just a cog in the wheel, but really a part of something dynamic.

I have a very nice shared office at the College that is spacious and I'll post some pics of it here soon. But one of the best things about working at the College is the ability to work at home from time to time. So, that's what I'm doing today. Taking some time away from the hustle and bustle at the College itself and working at home in the peace and quiet since the kids are at school today. It is so liberating to sit in your jogging pants and a t-shirt and work to your hearts' content without interruptions.

Well, back to work for me.....

The Useful Woman

Today was a LONG day. I had several meetings to attend at the College as well as having my interview to teach next year. I was stressed and went from meeting to interview to meeting with no break in between. When I got home Seth was already home from school, and was having fun with his dad.
Seth always changes his clothes when he gets home from school. He takes off whatever he wore to school and puts on a t-shirt and shorts. Usually he chooses the same t-shirt and shorts. When I arrived home Seth was searching for his shirt and shorts. He was having a difficult time finding them. So, I joined the search. Luckily for me...I found them. Hooray for the mom!!

After I found them, I brought the clothes to my wonderful son and he said.....

"Congratulations Mom!! You are a very useful woman!"

He's absolutely right of course. I am very useful....mostly for finding things I guess. :0)

The doctor

Rob has been gone for the last 6 days - 3 to Pastor's Retreat just north of us here in Alberta and 3 to Fond du Lac Wisconsin for Faye and Steve Daniels' wedding. He just returned home today and Spencer was VERY excited to see her Daddy. She kept running into his arms yelling, "You're home Daddy....you're home!" When everything settled down, she and her father had the following conversation:

Spencer: "Daddy, I'm gonna be a doctor."

Rob: "Really? That's nice. Will you take care of Daddy when he's sick?"

Spencer: "Nope."

Rob: Oh, why not?"

Spencer: "Cuz, I'm leaving right now."

Rob: "You're leaving to be a doctor right now?"

Spencer: "Yep."

Spencer left the room. Within 5 seconds she was back with her hand outstretched to say...

Spencer: " Dad, I need money!"

I so enjoy conversations like this one with my children. Conversations like this happen all the time. I need to take the time to really remember and enjoy these. I guess I also need to start saving for medical school. :0)